My ongoing and ever evolving story of recovery from an eating disorder and depression. Constantly learning, changing and growing. It can be a beautiful process and is worth the hard work. Seeking healthy relationship with food and exercise. To run without the mental torture and eat without a calorie calculator in my head. To dream and aspire because there is so much more life available without an ED. To look in mirrors. To enjoy food. To discover why this happened and challenge every false assumption. To re-learn who I am. To quit dieting and love health, nutrition and fitness with COMPASSION for myself. For this to be worth something. To help others. For this to be the making of me, not what tears me down.

TO FIGHT. Challenge accepted.
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New find! Nom! #edrecovery #recovery #ednos #ednosrecovery #foodisfuel #foodismedicine #nom #healthy #perkier #eatingdisorder #nutritious #bingeeating #balance #moderation #bingeeatingdisorder #bingefree

Care package from @heronbird1982 couldn’t have come at a better time. Thank you so much! #yay


Can’t go over it.

Can’t go under it.

Can’t go around it.

Gotta go through it.

Trying to explain depression or anxiety to someone who’s never experienced it.


Little by little, we break down the wall.

The sequel to this.

It has been a crazy day. Because of the 10k and it being incredibly emotional day after with my hamster I am in a calorie deficit. They handed Creme eggs out after the run. I haven’t had one in a long, long time. I decided to make myself a cup of tea and sit with a Creme egg and an orange (as I craved fruit, too) and just enjoy. I am really trying this balance thing. Sitting with the feelings. I had a bad few days this week but yesterday was better. Trying to not let how heartbroken I feel about my hamster become an excuse for my ED to take over. I will not binge and I will not restrict when hungry. My body worked hard today and deserves nourishment and my mind has taken a beating too and the Creme egg was yummy and has NOT ruined my day or made me a failure. Sigh. #edrecovery #recovery #ednos #ednosrecovery #nom #cremeegg #cadburys #balance #moderation #compulsiveexercise #weight #calories #foodismedicine #foodisfuel #bingeeatingdisorder #bingeeating #bingefree

Beautiful Regents Park this morning. #regentspark #london #nature #beautiful #takeamoment (at Regent’s Park - London)

I ran the Easter 10k at Regents Park this morning. Had spent the morning crying about my hamster but wanted to go and try at least. Finished in 55 minutes. Was a lovely day, lovely weather and atmosphere. Found it tough but managed to not stop at all. Proud of myself. Makes this day have some good in it as well as painful awfulness of losing my Peanut. She is free from pain now and we buried her with her favourite doughnut treat. #running #10k #easter10k #regentspark #runner #loverunning #fitness #recovery #edrecovery #ednos #hope #keepgoing #proud

Making our last journey to the vets to put her to sleep. Love her so much. #hamster

My little baby is fading fast. I don’t think she can pull through. Heartbroken is not a strong enough word for how I feel right now. #hamster






Here’s the link for more information about the PS244 fundraising campaign

Here’s the link to the GIVE IT ALL TO ME Library Collection at OutofPrintClothing.com.

Check it out! The good folks dropped me a line about this project last week, and I’m happy to boost for Library Week.

Signal boost

So hey, #education…

I love these.  Love them.  And for a great cause.


(via one-bite-at-a-time)